Lisa Wilkerson's Cancer Blog

Just a wait...

We are still here! We had a wonderful thanksgiving with all of our family. Mitch made it through without many problems. He was just plain wore out when everyone left. But the good thing was he was able to wear jeans instead of pjs. That was an exhausting thing for him to do but he was determined.
We had Christmas with the boys last night. Turned out quite well the boys mom and grandmother were here and I think it seemed to make things more comfortable for the boys. They loved their gifts.
Mitch has done a lot of crying lately. Saying goodbye to old friends and giving them something to remember him by. It has been hard on me seeing him like this, but on the other hand I am so proud of him being able to to this. It seems like everything that is going on he says this is the last time. I put up the tree Wednesday night. I have a old rocker that sets by the tree. I went in later to see him sitting in the rocker crying telling me this is the last time he will have a christmas. Broke my heart!
He finally asked our Hospice Angel how long he had, she told him days. He said ” okay I am ready got my will, got my clothes, Lisa knows what to put on headstone, I have said my goodbyes. And by the way do you know if I can be buried in my boots?” Thought I would crack up..Patty (the nurse) could not stop laughing. I think that will be one of the moments that I will cherish the most. I just Love that man!
So now we just wait, they have increased his methadone, kept his dulidid the same but added a strong dose of valium so that he can go peacefully.
Thanks all for your support and listening to me. It helps so much to just let it pour out!
Happy Holidays and God bless.

Posted on December 2, 2011 at 8:42:59 AM by Lisa Wilkerson (Just a wait..., 8 comments, 745 views)

Panda55 sent you a prayer.

4 people sent you a hug.

I cant imagine how you feel at the moment. All I can say is that here in Lees Village UK I am thinking of you both. I hope he is able to control his pain and that you are able to keep him smiling.

Helen

Posted on December 2, 2011 at 12:44:57 PM by Helen

This is just so sad. I’m so sorry for you and for Mitch and your family. When my sister died from cancer, she held on until Christmas, so she and her son could open gifts together. They did this a couple of days early and she died on the 26th. it was a peaceful and quiet end, but heartbreaking. Sending strength your way, Lisa, and a wish for peace-Ann

Posted on December 2, 2011 at 4:30:38 PM by Ann

Getting Ready.....

Mitch is tired. Yesterday started out pretty sad. I got up up him in tears. He has been in so much pain lately and the cancer is eating through the abdominal wall so he is having problems with the flange to his ileostomy not fitting.
The hospice nurse and the social worker told him he would know when he was ready to go. Well I guess he has decided it is time. Tomorrow is his 47th birthday and he told me that he would make it through his birthday but only a few days longer. What could I say??? I told him I would always love him that I would never forget him and never get over losing him, but I would be fine at some point. I also told him I know he has been in pain and that is was okay for him to go, and that I understood that he had to. I will see him again some day.
We talked about the funeral service, what songs (Willie Nelson Amazing Grace!), and what he wanted to wear. He wants no sermon. I already knew that so I have had his friends write something to be read. My brother is a minister and will do the service, he will read the things Mitch’s friends have written and say a prayer. Mitch said short and sweet.
He has made sure that I have all the insurance policies together, because he knows I won’t be able to think straight when the time comes.
The boys were here Saturday afternoon and he gave them quite a bit of stuff to take home, his guns and bows and other hunting stuff. He told them he could get the fishing stuff later. We have two deer heads on the wall in the front room and he told them who gets them. He also sighed over his truck to his oldest son and the truck that we bought for him goes to the youngest when he gets his license in a couple of months. It was a sad day but he did good got through it without a tear. I was proud.
I really have to give the boys mom so much credit and thanks through all this. She has been a big help getting the boys through this. We have talked several times a week and I have always told her how things were. They are with their mom through the week and I felt like she needed to know in order to help the boys. She has always offered her support. Their step father is a stand up guy and Mitch knows he will do right by them. That is so much to be thankful for.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and even though you may not think you have much to be thankful for…..stop and think. I am thankful for the years Mitch and I had together, the memories we made, how well the boys turned out, they are fine stand up young men, how my kids excepted Mitch as their step father, and how great of a grandpa he is….I could go on and on…..
Happy Thanksgiving all. Hope everyone has a wonderful day. God bless

Mike sent you a prayer.

I am so sorry that Mitch you and the boys are going through this. Just by what you wrote about him he must be a very special kind of person. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you through all this! Hugs Val

Posted on November 23, 2011 at 9:11:50 AM by Valerie

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